I used to think it was magical…

Just how does Santa get round Earth in one night? By exploiting the space-time continuum

Oh.  He just compresses space & stretches time.  What a let down…

 

I didn’t know Santa was so well versed in physics and genetics.

Unfortunate advertising…

The title of this post may hold many meanings for this post.  

First is the phrase ‘door buster sale’, especially in relation to the events of black friday, where a security guard was trampled and killed at a New York Walmart.

Second, and I’ve been meaning to share this since the day after Thanksgiving, would be the advertisement I saw when reading the article about the aforementioned disgraceful event.     

We could go into great discussion about the pitfalls of humanity and incompetent management that lead to these events.  Instead, I think it would be best to just allow everyone to enjoy (for lack of a better term off the top of my head) the irony of this screen shot.

 

J Jared (for brian)

Walking home

I’m doing just that as I write this. I’ve given up on my car because it’s value is overshaddowed by the cost of the repairs required for the state of Pennsylvania to consider lettinig me put the thing on public roads.

My wife was supposed to pick me up from work in our other car. Unfortunately, the value of a car ride home is overshaddowes by the cost of prematurely waking a toddler from his nap.

I am experiencing a range of feelings, the most dominant being cold. Humility also comes to mind, as I walk by my clients who have their own cars. As well, I feel an odd sense of freedom. Perhaps the innate desire to be different as possible is stimulated as I am passed by all the drivers so typically driving home.

Regardless of the exact feeling, I did encounter a few minor revelations on my way home. First, I saw the towN I live in at the ground level. Like in photography, where you should get on the same eye level as your subject, I did so today in Phoenixville. I took in new smells and i saw the detailed textures of the infrastructure. I witnesses character I wouldn’t have otherwise seen, from the safety and swiftness of my normal commute.

There certainly was an impact, as slowly, I transcended between the north side, through the bustlng downtown area and out to the more residential west side, where I reside. Through this transition, I passed by a crack house where even though I’ve worked a block away for the last year and a half, I would move past as briskly as possible, should the daylight have faded any further. There were people out on their porches, kids with nothing to do sitting on steps and stoops. In town, I walked by the pricy little restaurants, as I passed under decorated lampposts (of course no sort of care is taken to make the northside feel cozy). Lastly, the area shifted and everything became quiet except for the road noise. I was passing small town houses and a quiet neighborhood off of the main sreet.

All of this mellowdramatic description is simply my positive reaction to have been forced into the position of slowing down a bit. Its hard to stop and smell the roses when we move so quickly that the roses were only ever known as a blur in the rear view mirror.

Humanity truly is degenerative in nature

The process is nearly complete, I’ve learned.  Upon browsing TVGuide.com, I noticed that there is a show called “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF”.  Walter Tango Fox. 

My Thoughts?

Are we… i mean… seriously… what… but… (sputter, smash, smash) “DOES NOT COMPUTE”

 

Everyone, make sure to keep your cameras ready.  The end of the world is officially coming.  We’ll want to capture the moment, when it comes

“Run Away!!”

The professor of my Performance Analysis class just referenced Monty Python in explaining ergonomics…

…

…

I’m where I was meant to be.

Feeding back…

I’m again addressing the aforementioned iPhone ebay issue…

I’m getting ready to leave feedback for the seller and I want feedback for the feedback I’m about to feed back.

Unfortunately, Ebay limits the characters you can use for this, so we need to make each letter count!  What do you think of this?

“Damaged iPhone, “like new”, refused refund. i won paypal claim. RUN FAR AWAY” (with four characters remaining)

I was thinking of sneaking an “epic fail” in there, but not everyone is as geeky as I am, which could limit its effectiveness.  I might be able to fit a ‘lied’ in somewhere but I would prefer a better four letter word for ‘misrepresented’.

Any ideas? Comment away!

You’re an iPhoney!!! This guy’s a big iPhoney!

(Note: The title of this post is a throwback to an old Family Guy episode.)

Dear Readers,

Will you allow me this moment to vent my recent awful experience on ebay & paypal?

Readers:  Why, certainly!  Please!  Do Tell!

 

Ok!  Thank you, Readers!  You’re the best!

 

A month or two ago, I acquired an Apple iPhone 8gb.  I heart it dearly.  I check my email, occasionally write Mehl-Forwarding posts, play games, listen to music and of course, make phone calls!  Its yummy, gooey and oh so wonderful; it has to be fattening!

Anyway, I of course, being a geek wanting validation, constantly push my wife to play with it and insist that she tells me how wonderful she thinks it is.  Ultimately, she’s genuinely come on-board and wants one.  As it recently was time to get new phones, we made a few wise strategic decisions.  We decided to get free phones that we would use lightly and sell to subsidize the costs of our iPhones from ebay.  Frugal consumers, we are!

I digress…  I decided that 8gb wasn’t cutting it for me, spacewise.  I was used to a 30gb iPod and wanted to move up.  So, I decided to sell a few more gadgets of my own to cover the increased cost.  I would get a 16gb and I would give my wife the 8gb.  We sorted all those details out and I was set.  

I went to ebay and eventually found an iPhone for $400 (that I would subsequently get $120 cashback through live.com’s cashback program… ask if you want details!).  The phone was listed in ‘like new’ condition with only a few minor scratches on the back are nothing.  The iPhone arrived in its original box and all its goodness.  I opened it and instead of radiating beams of glory from above, I heard the sinister laugh of the evil one (no, not Karl Rove!).  

See Pictures:

Like new?  NOT!!!  MINOR scratces?!?  NOT!!!

Even my wife was like “Wow!”.  Immediately to the computer to demand a refund or MAJOR discount on the item.  So I’m typing away, always so careful to not insult the person and to appear professional.  I tend to use big words as to convince this person that I’m waaaay more intelligent than they are (which of course is most likely the truth!).  I double check my wording, spelling and grammar and send away.  Within twenty minutes, a response showed up in my inbox.  The seller informed me that it was ‘as described’ and that he would not offer a refund. He also stated that if I wanted a new iPhone, to go down to AT&T.  OOOH no he didn’t!  Now you done just pissed off the wrong ebay wizard.  I believe he was banking on a loophole, that he said “like new” to mean that he did a software factory restore.  So, I reiterate in more concrete and straight forward terms that this situation was unacceptable and that I would escalate this if necessary.  He encouraged me to do so in the subsequent response. ‘ NO WAY!  HE DID NOT!!!’ I calmly thought to myself.  Ok… who am I kidding. I was livid.

Later that evening, I begun the process of opening a dispute with Ebay & Paypal by emailing them directly.  I let the seller know of this and offered him 24 hours to reconsider.  He would do no such thing.  He offered me $20 back to pay for a new aluminum cover.  Aw, hailz no!  I explained to him why this was unacceptable and he responded… get this… “Stop wasting my time”.  That was it.  I was done with this guy.  Time to step it up a notch.

The following monday (the item was delivered on a saturday), I started making phone calls.  After talking to about 33,000 different people at ebay and paypal, I was able to start the dispute process.  Even the representative from paypal say “ooh!” when I told them about his email about wasting his time!  So, I expected a rebuttal and defense from him in an attempt to stall this process.

Time out…

In an ebay/paypal dispute, the seller and the buyer have a chance, with some mediation by paypal to work this out.  If they can’t, they can escalate it to claim status, where paypal will referee and make the final call.

Un-time out!

The defense came, as I suspected, but… he upped the ante!  He escalated the dispute to claim status!  Does this guy not realize that I have pictures??? That I sent to paypal???  And he said “like new” and thats not going to fly?  But I was relieved.  The faster we get this over, the better.  Within a day, the resolution ended in my favor.  A full refund was awarded to me.

But wait… there’s more.  And this is where I would recommend any ebay user to pay attention.

It turns out that some items are only covered by paypal up to $200.  This was one of those cases.  So, what this means is if he does not have $400 in his paypal account, I might only be reimbursed $200 of the money I spent.  I never realized this and before today, never had a reason to.  I exploded again.  So, 1.) I’m the victim here, as paypal has acknowledged.  2.) I’m currently out $400 3.) I have to spend $8 to send the iPhone back and 4.) There is no guarantee that I’ll ever get paid back!  Way to make customers confident in the process, right?  I will now never again use anything other than a credit card so that i can dispute the paypal charge.  Ultimately, it seems to be working out in my favor.  A service rep did hint at the idea that his paypal account has been seized and that there would be enough to get me a full refund.  

I’ve not yet rec’d my refund but I should in the next day or two.  And most likely, in full.  But beware… There are unscrupulous users out there who will mislead you to make an extra few dollars.  Be wise, check their feedback carefully and make sure you have protection of some sort.
*****If there is any interest in my techniques in successful ebaying (which I certainly have had!), let me know and maybe I’ll share.  I have sold many items on ebay and made quite a bit of money doing it.  Its the only way a social worker supporting a family can get a shot at any fun, new gadgets without racking up all sorts of credit card debt.

Cheerios

This morning, I asked my 15 month old son if he wanted cheerios. His response? He bumbled on over to the cabinet, opened it and pulled the box of cheerios out. Now, this may not be any impressive or enormous developmental milestone, but it struck me as an incredible moment. This may indeed be due to the fact that between work and school, I don’t necessarily see that much of him. It simply had an impact upon my expectations of what he’s capable of in terms of comprehension, motor skills and recall all combined into one act. Perhaps I still see him as I had when I was much more involved in caretaking.

All that to say… My child is turning into an smart little kid who mimicks and explores. If you huddle yourself and say ‘brrrr!’, he will do likewise. When I take the insides out of his glowworm, he giggles and wants to see what it is. When I leave a room that he is in, I’m sure to hear a rapid patter of little feet as he tries to keep up. All of this from a child who, one year ago, could not sit up on his own.

All parents will observe this metamorphosis, so it is really only novel to me and probably for only this moment. But I wanted to share a glimpse into what makes my life so very fulfilling. It also makes life a bit scary, when I realize that I said that the OPEC guys were assholes in front of him. I certainly don’t want his first impression of social dynamics to be a generalized insult to anonymous people who simply have a goal that is counterproductive to my own (and a need for someone to blame that it costs $40 to fill up my prizm).

Though… they probably are. But, he’ll figure that out in due time, probably sooner than I would ever expect.

Oh, Poll-ease!!!!!

 

OMG!! I don’t believe it!! McCain totally PWN’d Obama!  Clearly, everybody agrees!

 

Oh wait…  Nope.  I’m just an idiot.

 

In terms of likely statistical outcomes, unless Obama were to rip off his outer layer of clothing to reveal a t-shirt that says “I support the gay marriage between Bill Ayers and Osama Bin-laden”, the discrepancy in this poll should have resulted in a less significant outcome.  While studying psychometrics, I learned that if you have a test question, and everyone answers the same way, you’ve got a problem with your sample, your question and ultimately the reliability of your test.  That is to say… you’re not measuring anything significant.  I would say the same goes for this situation.  Whats funny is that I checked the debate before the debate was even over and McCain was winning something like 85 to 15.  These types of polls are simply an objective measure to expose how skewed the targeted audience is. 

I do not mean to criticize McCain in this.  I would have provided an equally stupid poll that stated Obama was 75 to 25 had I found one (you can scout out huffington post or dailykos for one if you would like).  McCain, in some respects, did quite well last night, increasing his energy and putting forth a persona that did well to convince Americans that though he’s over 70 years old, he’s got a little lead left in his pencil.  However, Obama did not expose the aforementioned tshirt nor did he utter “allah akbar” under his breath.  Thus, it is safe to say that the debate was not an all out total domination.

 

Oh and one other (very important) thing…  Are debates even supposed to be won?  Or should they simply be a way of having the candidates express their opinions and views on given topics, with perhaps some mediation to minimize dodging of questions?

Why put a win/lose value to such an exchange?

In light of this revelation,  I must restate my opening paragraph…

We are all idiots.  We lose because we allow political advocates, news pundits and right wing radio talk show hosts to shape the framework of how we approach and perceive a ‘debate’.  This shouldn’t be a matter of winning or losing.  This simply should be a forum of exchange, so that voters can get a better idea of which candidate lines up with their personal ideology.  There is no place for ‘win/lose’ values in an exchange and expression of ideas.

 

What a shame…

They fight like…

It’s funny to me that cats and dogs really can be enemies for no real reason at all.

My wife’s old pets (a cat and a dog) have concerning levels of animosity toward one another. In all reality,the dog is rather dumb and curious and the cat is violently opposed to the very existence of said dog. When the dog wanders anywhere near, the cat will puff her hair up to the point that she simply looks like an oversized dust bunny. I wouldn’t find it all too intimidating but it seems to keep the dog in line.

Regardless, I simply wanted to share my accomplishment of bringing the two opposing pets together. Granted, any closer and the cat would have starred making funny noises, expanding and perhaps floating away looking like an overinflated balloon.